


run like a million stars (break free without fear)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Category: Backstage (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Character, Asexual Jax, Biromantic Homosexual Miles, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gay Character, Homoromantic, Illnesses, LGBTQ Character of Color, Lesbian Bianca, M/M, Organ Transplantation, biromantic, bisexual Alya, gay Sasha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-22 20:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12489716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Jax swallows. Miles is staring at him, and normally that would be great, but not while Jax is trying to control the urge to kiss his best friend. He doesn't want to stress Miles out, especially so soon after he passed out.He starts to speak, to ask Miles if he wants to go grab a snack (And if Miles says no, then Jax will make sure that Mr. Park makes sure that Miles gets something to eat), when suddenly Miles leans in and kisses him .





	1. Chapter 1

_"Years of running, couldn't stop_

_Too afraid to sleep_

_Mind stays busy, I stay low_

_Look, but never leave_

_And then you_

_Taught me..."_

_-Dig Deep_ , Backstage Cast

 

“We're good," Miles says, "as long as you make that new album with me."

“I don’t think-” Jax starts, but Miles gently cuts him off.

“Next year,” Miles says, and Jax grins.

“Sounds good to me.”

And then they do that weird handshake that they worked out a couple of weeks ago. They stop, and-

Jax can't help but stare at Miles. His face is paler than normal, but his smile, though small, is radiant as ever. Jax’s stupid crush rears its ugly head. He _really_ wants to kiss Miles.

_(No, not again.)_

Jax swallows. Miles is staring at him, and normally that would be _great,_  but not while Jax is trying to control the urge to kiss his best friend. He doesn't want to stress Miles out, especially so soon after he passed out.

He starts to speak, to ask Miles if he wants to go grab a snack (And if Miles says no, then Jax will make sure that Mr. Park makes sure that Miles gets something to eat), when suddenly Miles leans in and kisses _him_.

Miles’ lips are sweet and warm. The world is bright and Jax thinks he might be forgetting how to breathe, but that’s not important.

Miles’ hand drifts upward to Jax’s cheek. Jax’s hands scramble for something to do, eventually landing on Miles’ waist. He's only ever kissed his eighth grade boyfriend, and that didn't last very long. He certainly didn't connect with Garrett the way he has connected with Miles, over school and video games and _music._  

A strangled noise interrupts them. They break apart, startled (Miles’ hand slips from Jax’s cheek, and he feels a pang of loss), to find Alya and Mr. Park looking at them. Alya looks shocked and Mr. Park just looks amused.

“Can't say this surprises me,” Mr. Park says, smiling. He looks to Miles. “But Miles, you alright?”

“Just need my meds,” Miles says.

“And food,” Jax pipes in. “And rest-"

Miles rolls his eyes. “Thanks, mom.”

“I'll go grab a snack,” Alya says, and hurries to head out.

Mr. Park lingers for just a moment. “Miles, you do understand how dangerous what you just did was, correct?”

Miles nods. "My mom will probably lecture me tonight. Maybe even ground me."

"Well, you'll have detention tomorrow."

" _Again_?" Jax gapes.

Mr. Park raises an eyebrow. "Do you want detention too, Mr. Gardner?"

Jax glances back at Miles, who is staring at him with smile on his face. "I guess so."

"Then I'll go schedule detention for my two greatest troublemakers." He goes to head out before pausing and glancing back. "Good luck, boys." Then he leaves.

Once Mr. Park clears out, Jax swallows and says, “I thought you liked Alya.”

“Alya?” Miles asks, surprise in his tone, and Jax nods.

“You guys have chemistry, and songwriting, and, she obviously has _some_ kind of interest in you-"

Miles lets out a small, breathless laugh. “Jax, I like _you_. You, Jax Gardner, you wonderful ass.”

“I like your ridiculous ass too,” Jax says. Miles the unflappable actually blushes and Jax swallows. "You really weren't kidding, were you?"

Miles shakes his head. "You need me to explain why?"

"No, not really, but it would be nice."

Miles sighs. "You're my best friend, Jax. You're funny and cute and you  _care._ You tried to take care of me, but you didn't pity me. You cared about how Alya responded. You act kind of like a jerk sometimes, but you're actually pretty selfless."

"Damn," Jax breathes.

Miles nods. "Now tell me why  _you_ like  _me._ I mean, I have an expiration date, Jax. Why would you, you know..." He gestures vaguely. "Want this?"

"Other than the fact that you tried to impress me by stealing a cake?" Jax asks, and Miles grins. "Well, I guess the fact that you're kind, and talented, and laugh at the most horrible of my jokes, and can totally kick my ass at Clash of Clans." Jax smiles. "And, I guess cute, too."

Miles leans in an presses a quick kiss to Jax’s cheek. Jax feels his cheeks heat up, but finds he doesn't quite care. Miles likes him? This, he can be okay with.

“So," Miles says, clearing his throat, "Think we should go on a date, or…?”

"That'd be great," Jax says, and his hand shifts to Miles' thigh.


	2. Tender is the night (Lying by your side)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title from "Tender" by Blur.

_"Tender is the touch_

_Of someone that you love too much_

_Tender is the day_

_The demons go away_

_Lord I need to find_

_Someone who can heal my mind..."_

-Tender, _Blur_

 

2 weeks later

  
  


Jax is used to bullying. All throughout elementary and middle school, he was the scrawny kid who spent his time buried in piano lessons and later his synthesizing. He got called “gay” far before he ever came out. He was the "fag prude" throughout middle school after his then boyfriend outed him.

(Needless to say, he can handle a little bullying.)

It's not that bad, honestly. 

He just worries that about the harm Miles worrying over him would cause. (And he knows Miles would worry about him- Miles is kind, like that.) Jax saw first hand what stress can do to Miles a couple of weeks ago- he does _not_ want a repeat experience of that. 

So some senior mutters  _ fag  _ and he bites his tongue. He doesn't tell Miles because he doesn't want to cause stress over something he can definitely handle on his own. And he doesn't tell anyone else because, well… he doesn't think that they'll care. Jax knows he hasn't made many friends at Keaton (maybe Alya and Kit, but that's about it) save Miles.

Jax is used to it, though. The bullying, the lack of friends. He's a bit of a jerk- he knows it.

He grins and bears it. He has music, and he has Miles. Life is pretty good, as far as Jax Gardner is concerned.

 

They're laying on Jax’s sofa, making out. Jax really likes this bit, even if he has no interest in going further. Miles’ lips are soft and his smile bright and his body pliable. They can't be too intense as Miles’ body isn't strong enough for it, but  _ this _ \- this amazing thing- there are no words to describe it.

Miles’ hands slide under the hem of Jax’s shirt, and Jax can't help himself. He flinches. Miles instantly withdraws his hands.

“You okay, Jax?” Miles asks, that kicked puppy look on his face.

“Shouldn't I be asking you that?” Jax tries to joke, and it brings a slight smile to Miles’ face but doesn't distract him.

“I want to respect your boundaries,” Miles says, and Jax’s heart melts a bit. As if Miles wasn't already enough of an awesome boyfriend, he has to go and be even better. “I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

Jax swallows. “Have you ever heard of a thing called asexuality?”

“Once or twice, I think,” Miles says. “Tell me about it.”

“Well, I am. Asexual, that is.”

Miles stares at him, pretty eyes guileless and confused. “What does that mean?”

“I don't feel sexual desire," Jax says. "Kissing is nice, and feels intimate, but the idea of sex is...offputting. Does that make sense?"

Miles thinks for a moment, and then: "Not entirely, but I want to try and understand. However, I do get that you don't want sex, and that's totally okay."

"Really?" Jax asks, and Miles nods.

“You're gorgeous, Jax, but neither you nor I want sex right now. I with my exhaustion issues, and you with asexuality.” He smiles, but it's a smile more weary than any freshman’s has a right to be. “And it's not like we'll ever be up to it, right?” A sick feeling settles in Jax’s stomach as Miles says: “We both know I have an expiration date. Let's enjoy this while it lasts.”

Jax blinks. He’s not one to cry, but the backs of his eyes are burning. 

Miles continues: “I want to be with you, Jax. I care about you, and I want this to last for as long as it can. I want to know how to make you comfortable, just like you do when I get sick.”

Jax can't help but grin. “You're ridiculous, you know?”

“And  _ you  _ like that ridiculousness.”

“Guilty as charged."

Miles raises an eyebrow. “But you said kissing is good, right?” he asks.

Jax grins. “Kissing is great.”

“Well, then,” Miles says, then leans down and kisses Jax.

Jax smiles against Miles’ lips. This, kissing a boy as beautiful as music itself, feels as exhilarating as the first time he mixed a track. 


End file.
